God's Control

Psalm 51:10-12

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

(from biblegateway.com)

Control. I just want to be in the driver’s seat for a little bit in life, at the moments when God chooses a path for me or mine, or a method that I wouldn’t.

Good thing I’m not. I love the free will God gives me, yet I need His loving sovereignty. While accepting His timing, His plans, and His purposes presents challenges, truly, that power and control are integral to His goodness. He draws a line in the sand in my life, or inserts a season of waiting for rescue or blessing, when He chooses. And it’s protection, or character development, or some other good result. I just may not always know it.

Listen, right now, I am in a good place in life. God continues to bless me with the privilege of staying home with my children at least part-time. My husband and I enjoy one another’s company. In our home, we experience joy in simple blessings, and despite some understandable health issues in my family, we’re not weighted with great burdens.

Still, I feel God reining me in on some goals about an eventual career, and home. I missed deadlines I had set. But He’s given me some ‘Not yet,’ answers. At times it hurts my feelings, and I feel inadequate, but I don’t have the all-knowing, all-seeing viewpoint God does. Father knows best. And He values and loves me. You, too.

Still, I need His Spirit to click things in my mind, and help me to understand, and humbly accept, His ways. He simply won’t always show me in great detail and precision why He allows some of the rough patches in life – miscarriage, family illnesses, and sin.

Nor will He consistently show why He gives me unexpected (and undeserved) blessings, three healthy, joy-bringing children, life in a community and a country that are generally physically safe, a God-glorifying church where I can serve, and access to medical care, to name a few.

So, to have a real relationship with anyone, I need to be willing to take what I would choose, and what I wouldn’t. Relationships require commitment on both sides, not just one. The same holds true for my relationship with God, though He is faithful even when I am not. In the end, it will make me a better person, a more faithful follower of Christ. One with a vision for life and people much more closely aligned to His.

Photo and text ©Helene Bergren 2011. All rights reserved.